How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.


A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle.
He looked around and didn't see anyone, so he opened
the bottle. A genie appeared and thanked
the man for letting him out.
The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that
bottle that I will grant you one wish. I can only grant one."
The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always
wanted to go to Hawaii. I've never been able to go because
I cannot fly. Airplanes are much too frightening for me.
On a boat, I see all that water and I become very claustrophobic.
So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."

The genie thought for a few minutes and finally said, "No, I
don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved.
Consider all the piling needed to hold up
a highway and how deep they would have to go to reach the
bottom of the ocean. Imagine all the
pavement needed. No, that's just too much to ask."

The man thought for a few minutes and then told
the genie, "There is one other thing I have always wanted.
I would like to be able to understand
women. What makes them laugh and cry,
why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to
get along with. Basically, what makes them tick."
The genie considered for a few minutes and said,
"So, do you want two lanes or four?"