Kids Say The Darndest Things

Some grade school teachers must agree with that, because they
keep journals of amusing things their students have written in papers.
Here are a few examples:

*The future of "I give" is "I take."
*The parts of speech are lungs and air.
*The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.
*A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing
the population.
*Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure
gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
*(Define H2O and CO2.) H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.
*A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set
foot.
*The general direction of the Alps is straight up.
*A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then
forcing it through an aviator.
*Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.
*The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.
*The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the
top and you sit on the bottom.
*We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our
silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.
*One of the main causes of dust is janitors.
*A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly
constipated authorities.
*One by-product of raising cattle is calves.
*To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until
it drips into the throat.
*The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
*The climate is hottest next to the Creator.
*Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply
religious feelings.
*The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the
top and plural at the bottom.
*Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.
*The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and
up the other.
*In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.
*Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.
*In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.
*A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the
winter.
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