Some Rules Kids Won't Learn in School

 Unfortunately there are some things that children
should be learning
 in school, but don't. Not all of them have to do
with academics. As
 a modest- back-to-school offering, here are some
basic rules that
 may not have found their way into the standard
 Rule #1. Life is not fair. Get used to it. The
average teen-ager uses
 the phrase "it's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You
got it from your
 parents. Who said it so often you decided they
must be the most
 idealistic generation ever. When they started
hearing it from their
 own kids, they realized Rule #2.
 Rule #2. The real world won't care as much about
your self-esteem as
 your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish
something before
 you feel good about yourself. This may come as a
shock. Usually,
 when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids
complain that it's not
 fair. (See Rule No. 1)
 Rule #3. Sorry, you won't make $40,000 a year
right out of high
 school. And you won't be a vice president or have
a car phone
 either. You may even have to wear a uniform that
doesn't have a Gap
 Rule #4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait
'till you get a
 boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a
bit edgier. When
 you screw up, he is not going ask you how feel
about it.
 Rule #5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your
dignity. Your
 grandparents had a different word for burger
flipping. They called
 it opportunity. They weren't  embarrassed making
minimum wage
 either. They would have been embarrassed to sit
around talking about
 Kurt Cobain all weekend.
 Rule #6. It's not your parents fault. If you screw
up, you are
 responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my
life," and "You're not
 the boss of me," and other eloquent  proclamations
of your
 generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime.
Don't whine about
 it or you'll sound like a baby boomer.
 Rule #7. Before you were born your parents weren't
as boring as they
 are now. They got that way paying your bills,
cleaning up your room,
 and listening to you tell them how idealistic you
are. And by the
 way, before you save the rain forest from the
 parasites of your parents' generation, try
delousing the closet in
 your bedroom.
 Rule #8. Life is not divided into semesters, and
you don't get
 summers off. Nor even Easter break. They expect
you to show up every
 day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life
every 10 weeks.
 It just goes on and on.
 Rule #9. Television is not real life. Your life is
not a sitcom. Your
 problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes,
minus time for
 commercials. In real life, people actually have to
leave the coffee
 shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be perky
or as polite as Jennifer Aniston.
 Rule #10. Be nice to nerds. You may end up working
for them. We all could.

 Rule #11. Enjoy this while you can. Sure, parents
are a pain,
 school's a bother, and life is depressing. But
someday, you'll
 realize how wonderful it was to be kid. Maybe you
should start now.