Household Principles for Children from the Old Testament Continued-
Lamentations of the Father by Ian Frazier

Concerning Face and Hands

Cast your countenance upward to the light, and lift your eyes to
the hills, that I may more easily wash you off. For the stains
are upon you; even to the very back of your head, there is rice

And in the breast pocket of your garment, and upon the tie of your
shoe, rice and other fragments
are distributed in a manner wonderful to see.

Only hold yourself still; hold still, I say. Give each finger in
its turn for my examination
thereof, and also each thumb. Lo, how iniquitous they appear. What
I do is as it must be; and you
shall not go hence until I have done.

Various Other Laws, Statutes, and Ordinances

Bite not, lest you be cast into quiet time. Neither drink of your
own bath water, nor of the bath water of any kind; nor rub your
feet on bread, even if it be in the package; nor rub yourself against
cars, nor against any building; nor eat sand.

Leave the cat alone, for what has the cat done, that you should
so afflict it with tape? And hum not the humming in your nose as
I read, nor stand between the light and the book. Indeed, you will
drive me to madness.

Nor forget what I said about the tape.