Husband: Why do you weep and sniffle over a TV program and the imaginary
woes of people you have never met?

Wife: For the same reason you scream and fell when a man you don't know makes a touchdown.


Another Bumper Sticker

"Don't honk if you're psychic" reminds me of an answering machine message:
"Hello, you've reached the psychic network: don't bother to leave your name
or message - we know who you are and what you want."


Is it progress if a cannibal learns to eat with a fork?


Have ex-locomotive engineers been derailed?
Have ex-civil lawyers been distorted?
Have ex-mathematicians become dysfunctional?
Have ex-bankers become disinterested?
Have ex-punsters been expunged?


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